Lady Disdain
by 911weasleytwins
Summary: Lily just needed help with her English homework. James just wanted to lend a helping hand. With the help of an age-old story, they both discover a little something about themselves along the way. Muggle university AU, one-shot. Fluff.


**Hey, guys! I'm back a little sooner than I expected, and with some fresh new garbage to serve you. This is a stupid one-shot I dreamed up during work, and honestly, it's total trash. It's a university AU, but it isn't related to Change of Heart. In it, Lily is a chemistry major struggling with a final for her last English credit, and JAmes is an English major who is helping her study. They're studying Shakespeare's** _ **Much Ado About Nothing**_ **, so this whole dealio will make a lot more sense if you go read the plot summary on Wikipedia.**

 **The title is based on the two main-ish characters of the play, Benedick and Beatrice. They're in love with each other, but neither will admit it (cough cough Jily) and Benedick calls Beatrice Lady Disdain because of her outspoken disgust for him (COUGH COUGH JILY).**

 **So, that's why. Please read and review, I know it isn't that great but I'd love constructive criticism while I try to get back on the writing horse from a long time of only publishing inconsistently. Please review!**

Lily had abandoned all hope of studying in her dorm. Marlene and Emmeline had decided that the day before Lily's English final was a good day to host what seemed to be the entirety of Hogwarts College in their dorm room for an evening of hijinks and hilarity. And though Lily ached to be back with her friends, drinking to forget her misery over Severus' desertion, she knew she needed to ace her final exam in order to pass.

Which was how she found herself sitting on the couch in Gryffindor Hall's common area, pretending to study her Shakespeare.

Something heavy flopped onto the sofa next to her. She looked over and groaned internally.

"Potter, can't you damn well leave me alone for a single minute?"

He shrugged. "I'm not here because of you, Evans, don't flatter yourself. It's getting a little loud down the hall." He stretched out on the other end of the couch. "Whatcha reading?"

She groaned. " _Much Ado About Nothing_. It's for a stupid English credit I have to get to graduate. Unfortunately, it's complete gibberish."

He reached over and snatched her book. "Let me see. What are you having trouble with?"

"Well, I have no clue what the plot of the book is, for starters."

He smirked. "This is one of my favorites, actually. The plot is _completely_ absurd."

"I'm sure I would agree if I actually knew, you know, what it was."

James drew his legs up on the couch. "Well, let's start at the beginning. What's confusing you?"

Lily opened the book to the first scene. "For starters, stuff like this is totally throwing me off. I get that in the line before, Benedick is putting her down for being a haughty jerk, but her reply throws me off. She says, 'Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it such as Signor Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert it to disdain if you come in her presence.' What the heck? What is the point of 'meet' in that sentence? Did he misspell it or what?"

James looked at the selection in question, then laughed. "It's a play on words. Meat is a food, but the food Beatrice is talking about is their meetings. Hence, meet." He looked up at Lily. "You know, Lady Disdain would be a pretty good title for you."

"I understand that enough to be offended."

"Please. Even nowadays, being around you is like standing in the mouth of a cannon."

"Please, it was worse before- you know, before Sev and I split ways."

"You're right, then it was unmasked hatred. Now it's just thinly veiled… disdain." Lily threw a pillow at him. "Sorry, it was the perfect opportunity."

James looked back at the book, "Now, she's saying that any time Benedick is around, disdain has a ton of stuff to feed on, because he disgusts her. You should be able to relate to that and remember it for your exam tomorrow."

"Well, sure, now that you've gone through the whole thing with me. But I still barely grasp the plot and can't understand the language, like, at all." Lily groaned and let her face fall onto the pages of the comedy. "Ugh. I'm _never_ going to get a good enough grade to pass."

James sat up triumphantly. "That means there's only one thing to do!" he said smugly. "We are going to go through this _entire play_ and read it through in modern English until you understand what the bloody hell is going on."

"The sun will explode before that happens, Potter." She looked back at the crowded dorm hall, where Sirius was sitting on top of Remus' shoulders, getting drinking two shots at once. "Besides, shouldn't you be getting wasted with your friends?"

James wrinkled his nose. "No, your friends are only providing tequila, and I'm more of a whiskey guy." He turned back to the book. "Well, let's get started, shall we?"

* * *

"So, they're in love, but they act like they hate each other to save face." He cocked his eyebrow. "Interestingly applicable to real life, if I do say so myself-"

Lily rolled her eyes and snatched her book back from James. "It's just a story, Potter. Don't read too far into it."

"Spoken like a true chemistry major," James chuckled.

"I mean, there are some parts I liked. Like, when Beatrice said she would eat Claudio's heart in the marketplace? Incredibly relatable. I would do that to Sev, no questions asked."

James laughed. "Gone are the days when you would have been saying that about me, my dearest Lady."

"I am _not_ Lady Disdain!"

"And yet your voice is _stained_ with it."

"That wasn't even a good pun."

"Yeah, I know. You'd think an English major would have a greater control over his own language. But apparently not."

"Okay, and also the whole 'fake dying' thing with Hero was such a copy of _Romeo and Juliet_. Like, I appreciate that the guy tried, but if you run out of ideas, maybe you should just, like, take a break."

James raised an eyebrow. "You know the plot of _Romeo and Juliet_? Can you actually read iambic pentameter? Was this entire study session just a ploy to spend more time with me, Evans?" James said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Please, Potter. We had to read it earlier in the year, so I panicked and read the Sparknotes and got a fifty-seven percent on the final."

"Yikes."

"But you know what I think was the most absurd thing in the entire play? The fact that Benedick and Beatrice left their love sonnets out for anyone to see. Like, if I was professing my secret love to a guy I supposedly hate through _poetry_ , I would not be leaving it out for everyone to see. Actually, I probably wouldn't even write it. I'm more of a keeping my own counsel kind of gal, you know?"

James blushed slightly and offered no reply. Lily began to smile.

"Am I to understand that the illustriously popular James Potter writes love sonnets to the subject of his affections?" She began cackling wildly, attracting the attention of the people nearest to the door. Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Emmeline stumbled over to their small couch, bringing with them a bottle of Kahlua and the stench of intoxication. Sirius seated himself in Lily's lap. "What's the joke, dear Evans?" he hiccuped.

Lily choked back her laughter long enough to say, "James writes love poetry to girls he's interested in!"

Sirius nodded solemnly. "Yeah, I've seen it. Good stuff. Maybe you should check it out sometime, I mean, it's about-"

"Alright, then, Sirius, I think you've had enough to drink!" James said hurriedly, prying the bottle of alcohol from his sweaty palms.

Sirius toppled off Lily's lap and onto the floor. "Care to join us, Evans? You hold your whiskey well. But I- _hic_ \- bet I can drink more than you can before you pass out."

Lily chuckled lightly. "As tempting as that is, Sirius, I have an exam tomorrow and I really can't afford to be hungover for it.

Emmeline fell over the edge of the couch and ended up with her head in Lily's lap. "Boo, Lil, live a little!" she slurred. Lily frowned. "Emmeline, where's Marlene?"

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "Ugh, she went back to our dorm with her ex again."

Lily groaned. "Great, now we're going to be hearing about how Benjy Fenwick is the only one for her for another six months." Emmeline didn't respond. She was sound asleep on Lily's lap.

"Remus?" she called. "Remus, would you mind-" she frowned at him. "Aren't you an RA?" she said. "You might be obligated to stop this."

Remus, who looked only slightly tipsy, shrugged. "Eh, nobody's died yet, why stop the fun? Anyways, yeah, I'll watch Em and let you two get back to your studying." He winked at James, then picked Emmeline up bridal-style. "Come on, Pete, let's find a cozy place to sit and people watch."

James shook his head and laughed. "You're having the most trouble with the first two acts. Why don't you re-read it? Maybe it'll make more sense now."

"Oh, don't you _dare_ think we're done talking about your love poetry. I want to _see_ this exquisitely crafted iambic pentameter about some raven-haired beauty."

James gave her a strange look. "You know, I don't think-"

"Or is she blond? Who is she, James?"

James looked at the ground. "I thought- never mind. Just, try to read that section, if you can hear yourself think over this lot."

She was silent for a moment, then she spoke. "You know, I know I sounded a lot like your precious Lady Disdain before, but it's actually really sweet."

"Sorry, what?"

"Your poetry. Every girl wants someone to love them that much. I hope someday you show it to her."

He studied her. "You're serious?"

"Yeah. Knowing someone thinks about you… it means a lot. But you know? If she really cares about you, it's that that's going to matter to her. Not whether your lines are as perfect as Shakespeare, or if your rhythm is just right. It's going to be the thought that went into it that matters." She shrugged and settled down. "Just a thought."

James flipped the small television set in the corner on to watch the football game, but he found more of his attention was focused on the studious redhead sprawled out beside him, attempting to digest two acts of a play with a flock of intoxicated students yelling "Chug! Chug! Chug!" at the top of their lungs to a thoroughly drunk Sirius.

As the first half of his football match slipped away, James saw Lily's head dipping lower and lower until he couldn't see her face at all, but just a mop of shiny red-gold hair perched atop the book, ruffling gently when she breathed.

He smiled and covered her up with his jacket. Then he took out his leather-bound notebook and began to write.

* * *

Lily exited her exam feeling triumphant. For the first time, she understood the finer details of an actual literary piece. James had explained what literary devices Professor Binns liked to focus on and helped her pick out some selections from the piece. She could answer advanced plot questions, and for the translation section (amusingly, the selection was taken from the Lady Disdain section), she felt confident that she had provided an accurate translation from old to modern English.

She saw James waiting on the steps, clutching a leather-bound notebook and looking vaguely uncomfortable. His face brightened when he saw her. "How did it go, dear lady?"

"It was great! Lily gushed. "I've never felt so sure about something English-related in my whole life. You and your study tips did wonders. I can't believe how good I feel."

"Well, that's good." He paused and shifted his weight. "You know how you told me I should share my poetry with the person I care about last night?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I do. Are you going to do it?"  
He gulped and held his notebook out.

She took it uncertainly. "Is it… is it for me?"

James nodded. "Look, I'm no Shakespeare. My lines don't always flow and my rhymes aren't always perfect but I meant it all, every single thing I wrote-"

Lily cut him off, kissing him full on the lips, and James was so surprised he stood stock still for a moment. But the moment he realized _yes, this was really happening after waiting so long_ , he kissed her back with enthusiasm. She twisted his hands into her hair, accidentally knocking her hat off in the process. Her lips tasted like peppermint chapstick, and when she wrapped her hands around his neck, he almost couldn't keep kissing her for smiling so much.

She broke away first, leaving his heart beating erratically.

"You know," she murmured, "I've been waiting a long time to do that."

James rolled his eyes. "Then why didn't you say anything?"  
"Why didn't _you_?"

"I was too busy pining in my room writing you love sonnets."

"I went out with _Sturgis Podmore_ just to try to get you to notice me!"  
James rolled his eyes. "Hardly a minute in, and you're already back to being Beatrice. And here I thought you were Hero."

"Please, Hero fainted at her wedding altar. I would never be that weak."

James shrugged. "That's true." He pulled her close. "Anyways, I like my Lady Disdain exactly how she is."


End file.
